This is not great news for me. I just saw this article about divorce ruining the planet. And I am smack dab in the middle of a separation on my way to divorce.
There is nothing I can do about saving this marriage. But I can still try to reduce my footprint on the planet even while getting a place of my own.
Here are my steps to reducing the divorced footprint especially when kids are involved:
Live close to the kids. I see no point in moving across town. I am spending a little more in rent that I would with this apartment, but I am only a mile away. I would have been even closer, but those apartments were full.
Don’t get a bedroom for the kids. I have seen the whole overnight debacle with young kids with my step kids. Sometimes they don’t want to go; sometimes they are sick and can’t. And most of the time, sleeping somewhere else just means they don’t sleep well. And I feel no ownership over my two girls. They do not have to sleep in my apartment for them to know I am their father and love them very much.
Live simply. If you are the guy getting kicked out (like me), you do not have to go on a bar hopping binge spending money left and right, or finally buying that high definition TV. Believe me when I tell you that you will have other things to spend your excess money on: Lawyers, child support and college education funds. The kids and their expenses do not go away.
Take this time away from all the pain and agony you’ve been locked in these last few years, (After all, no one gets separated on a whim. It has been building up.) and get some exercise. After all, there is no one at your apartment to come home to. You may as well drive a little slower, walk a little more.
You can lower the thermostat in the winter and wear a sweater. It can even be that old beat up one: no one is going to complain. Wives and kids aren’t tough enough to handle 68 degrees all winter anyway.
The number one thing you can do to save the environment is to be nice to your future ex-wife. Think about the kids and make it easy on everyone. Keep your ego out of it and be a good role model for everyone involved. Your kids do not want to see how nasty either of you can get. And the less nasty you are, the less guilty you will feel and the less you will spend on such wasteful things as dinner out or outlandish gifts they don’t need.
Good luck out there. (And don’t get a girlfriend right away. But that’s advice for another blog.)
